Caring for others can boost your mental health. It can give you purpose and strengthen your relationships. You can care for the people around you in many ways. For instance, you can bring food to a friend, volunteer at a charity, offer to drive someone somewhere, hold the door open for a stranger, etc.

Caring for others can bring you closer together. Doing something for someone shows you care about them. Additionally, it’s an opportunity to do an activity together. This can build a reciprocal relationship where they would offer to help you, too. In turn, you both feel held by each other.

If you live with chronic pain, you may be used to other people caring for you or helping you out. It’s truly amazing to have support from other people. However, it can sometimes feel like you’re a burden. This is absolutely not the case! One way to help escape that feeling is to show you care for those around you, too. 

There’s a lot you can do for the people around you, even if you’re not feeling the best. Gratitude is one major way you can care for others by making sure they know that you appreciate them. Tell them how much you care: say thank you, leave a nice note, etc. Small gestures go a long way. 

The generosity of caring for others can benefit your mental health. It’s associated with lowered stress, improved social connections, and a greater sense of purpose. Further, it can increase well-being, life satisfaction, empathy, and gratitude. You may develop a more balanced perspective about yourself and others.

Caring for others through volunteering to boost mental health

Caring for strangers or people in your community can also do wonders for your mental health. A great way to do this is to volunteer your time. Reflect on what your values are and what causes you care about. Then, do some research into organizations that work for these causes in your community. Check out what volunteer opportunities they offer.

If you can’t volunteer, there are other ways you can support the organizations you care about. You could share their information, donate, organize a fundraiser, attend their events, or join a steering committee.

However, you don’t need to commit to volunteering all your time to benefit from caring for others. There are small actions you can take each day that will boost your mood, too. You can hold the door open for someone, be kind to a service worker, smile at strangers on the street, help someone carry groceries to their car, text your pal to let them know you’re thinking of them, etc.

Although small, these actions can make a difference in your mood, sense of self-worth, and purpose.

Making Boundaries When Caring for Others

It’s important to remember that you also deserve your care and attention. Don’t spread yourself too thin by using all of your time and energy for others. Having boundaries is essential. If you cannot care for yourself, you cannot care for others. Being overworked can overwhelm you and lead to poorer mental health.

Setting boundaries with the people in your life is a great way to prioritize your wellbeing. Unfortunately, some people can have a very draining effect on you. Identifying the people and situations that drain you is the first step to doing this.

Learning to say “No” is another vital step. Although caring for others can help your mental health, there is a fine line where it begins to take a toll. It’s okay to say no to people who are asking for help beyond your means.

A simple formula for saying no is as follows:

Thank them for thinking of you. Then, tell them that you can’t. If you’d like to explain why you can’t help, go ahead. However, explain it with “I” statements rather than “you” statements. For example, “I feel tired today” rather than “you make me feel drained”. This removes any blame and allows you to take ownership of your feelings. Although, you don’t always need a reason for saying no. Do not feel like you need to make up an excuse.

If the person is not taking no for an answer, it may be time to set a firm boundary with them.

Overbearing Friend Example:

Let’s say you have a friend named Pete who knows you’re helpful. Pete asks you to help him out constantly. Lately, you’ve been feeling very drained and don’t think you have the capacity to offer your help to him. However, he is at your doorstep asking you to help him move this weekend.

You can say “I feel exhausted so I can’t help you out this time”. If he insists you help, you can explain further: “I feel disrespected and taken advantage of when I’ve been asked to help beyond my limits.”

If Pete doesn’t take no for an answer, perhaps Pete isn’t being fair to you. You should reassess what you are getting out of that friendship.

Practice

Below, you will find the worksheets for this lesson: the Caring for Others Worksheet, Your Causes worksheet, and the Boundaries Worksheet. The first worksheet will help you decide some small and large ways you can care for the people in your life. The second worksheet will help you reflect on some causes that you care about and how you can get involved. The final worksheet will help you set healthy boundaries.

Reflect

Take a moment to reflect on how caring for others makes you feel. How do you balance caring for others but not getting burnt out? Additionally, what are the causes that you care about and how do you contribute? Is there a way you set boundaries to put yourself first?

In the final lesson, you will learn about how changing your thoughts can change your perspective, behaviors, and mood.